You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
