k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
