This girl is more easily done than said...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
