My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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