Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
