I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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