Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
