would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
