True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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