I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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