i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
