my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Randomize