I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
