I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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