think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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