she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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