Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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