He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
