That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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