Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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