He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
