Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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