I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
