so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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