I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
