i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
