Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
