Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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