Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
