mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
