Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
