I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
