Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
