Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
