How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
