I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize