No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
