Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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