I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
