omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I party with great urgency now.
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