At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
