It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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