no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
