There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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