i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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