he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize