You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
