I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
