Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
50% drunk capacity currently
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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