he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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