I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
