Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
