I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
