You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Don't make out with my wife yet
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
two words: eviction party
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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