I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
