Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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