on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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