We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
