I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
