You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
