someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize