That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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