that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize