i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize