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i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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