He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
