Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
