And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
