Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Let's get the cat blown out
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
