I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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